On Bic’s girlie-pens

Bic’s girlie-pens have transported Amazon reviewers to a glittering apex of sarcasm, much to the gratitude of bored office workers and bloggers everywhere. (And imagine, dear reader, your indebtedness if you happen to be both, like I am.) But it seems the only discernible sin Bic committed was committing itself–by explicitly labeling the pens “For Her.” If it weren’t for that artless caveat, these pastel pens would have gone ignored just like pink razors, chartreuse hammers, puce penknives and whatever else people like me slap some lazy branding on to sell to…well, other people like me. The real outrage is, as Jezebel points out, Bic’s shitty pens for women cost 70% more than identical regular pens. It’s times like these I’m glad I’m incapable of calculating sums. Because I’m a woman, I mean.

Most Helpful Amazon Customer Reviews

3,327 of 3,344 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars No good for man hands 16 Aug 2012
I bought this pen (in error, evidently) to write my reports of each day’s tree felling activities in my job as a lumberjack. It is no good. It slips from between my calloused, gnarly fingers like a gossamer thread gently descending to earth between two giant redwood trunks.
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1,255 of 1,261 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Insufficent 28 Aug 2012
Normally I only use pens designed and created for real men, in colours appropriate to such instruments of masculinity – black like my chest hair or blue like the steely glint of my eyes, or the metallic paintwork of my convertible Mustang sportscar. Imagine then the situation I found myself in when, upon taking delivery of another shipment of motorbike parts and footballs, I reached for and grasped not my normal BIC pen, but a `BIC for Her Amber Medium Ballpoint Pen’ (evidently ordered by my well-meaning, but ill-informed girlfriend whilst my back was turned). I knew something was wrong when I had to physically restrain my hands, gnarled and worn from a lifetime of rock-climbing and shark wrestling, from crushing the fragile implement like a Faberge egg. Things only went downhill from there.Normally my hand writing is defined and strong, as if chiselled in granite by the Greek gods themselves, however upon signing my name I noticed that my signature was uncharacteristically meandering and looping. More worryingly the dots above the I’s manifested themselves as hearts, and I found myself finishing off the signature with a smiley face and kisses. Obviously I had no choice but to challenge the delivery man to a gun fight on the rim of an erupting volcano in order to reassert my dominance. Had I not won this honourable duel this particular mistake might have resulted in a situation that no amount of expensive single malt whiskey and Cuban cigars could banish. I leave this review here as a warning to all men about the dangers of using this particular device, and suffice-it-to-say will return to signing my name with a nail gun as normal.25 Comments |Was this review helpful to you?
1,418 of 1,433 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Ideal for A Variety of Feminine Writing Tasks August 27, 2012
I love BIC Cristal for Her! The delicate shape and pretty pastel colors make it perfect for writing recipe cards, checks to my psychologist (I’m seeing him for a case of the hysterics), and tracking my monthly cycle. Obviously, I don’t use it for vulgar endeavors like math or filling out a voter application, but BIC Cristal for Her is a lovely little writing utensil all the same. Ask your husband for some extra pocket money so you can buy one today!
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24 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Ph Balanced For A Woman!, October 7, 2012
This review is from: BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, 1.0mm, Black, 16ct (MSLP16-Blk) (Office Product)
The BIC Cristal Ladypen changed my life! I was taking an exam for law school when suddenly my hulking man pen stopped working. As I shook out my hand, trying to relieve the cramping caused by using such a bulky pen clearly not meant for ladies, I asked someone next to me if I could borrow one so I could finish my essay question. When she pulled the beautiful pearlescent Ladypen out of her bag, I heard a faint angel chorus singing in my ears, and a light gust of wind gently tugged my hair out of it’s dull ponytail and swept it around my shoulders like a Pantene commercial. I grasped the slim shaft and I couldn’t believe how well it fit my delicate, suddenly white-gloved, ladyhands. As I began to write, I clutched my pearls (was I wearing pearls before?) in shock. My boring exam blue book transformed into a gorgeous Lisa Frank folder with pictures of rainbows and unicorns!! My essay question turned into a love letter to Matt Damon! And my unkempt handwriting turned into beautiful calligraphy! I straightened my petticoat and hightailed it out of class, heading for the office, where I dropped all my classes and accepted a job as a secretary. I may not be lawyer material, now that I’ve realized my place in the world as a lady, but it will be the perfect place to meet a handsome man and earn my MRS degree! Tee hee! Thank you BIC!
Also! I just LOVE the use of “Cristal” for ladyproducts. It makes them sound so much fancier and more feminine!
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